Wait... I'm WHAT?

Having a kid is awesome in so many ways.  My little dude just woke up from a nap (thankfully, he slept in his swing! All by himself!  So I didn't have to hold him!  Thank!  God!), and he immediately greeted me with a huge smile.  And then he proceeded to fill his diaper, quite loudly, I might add.  He's currently cuddled up with me on the couch, where he is continuing to poo like it's his job.  Which, I dunno, maybe it is.  Luckily he's sort of laughing about it... not sure if it's because he thinks sharts are funny, or if he's thinking that mommy has to change him.  Either way, pretty cute.

The Hubs and I knew we always wanted kids.  We discussed baby names before we were even married (yeah, I was That Girl).  We actually planned on "trying" (which is a nice way to say making the sexy times quite often without worrying about a baby ruining our lives) somewhere around our three year wedding anniversary.

Yeah.  Because I would have been so ready for a kid when I was 25.

Luckily, we wised up and realized that no, that wouldn't really be the best choice at the moment.  I can only imagine how I would have handled a kid three years ago, when we had crappy jobs and zero friends in town.  As best as I can figure, I got knocked up on our five-year wedding anniversary.  We'd been "trying" (there's that word again) for about 10 months when it happened.

Let me set the scene for you:  It's late July, and about 8 AM on a Friday.  I've just stepped out of the shower when I realize I was planning to take a pregnancy test that morning, at the advice of my sister-in-law.  I was about three days late, which wasn't totally strange for me.  I remember that a pregnancy test is most accurate when you test with the first pee of the morning (the dark, smelly kind.... mmmmmm...).  Unfortunately, being the classy lady that I am, I had already peed in the shower (don't pretend you don't; it's like a bladder spa in there, complete with warmth and water sounds to encourage total bladder relaxation).  So I pop a squat and will myself to pee, even a little bit.  I'm super cheap, so I bought the Dollar Tree pregnancy test that you have to use an eyedropper with instead of just peeing on a stick.  Yup,  So I put the pee on the test, and I hear a frantic knock at the bathroom door.  "One moment!" I say, and then I look over at the piece of urine-covered plastic that will change the rest of my life.  There are two pink lines.  Okay, that's normal.  Wait.  I look back.  There are TWO PINK LINES.

Hoooooooooly shit.  Two lines.  Baby-time.

By this time, there have been several more frantic knocks, followed by a panicked little boy voice saying, "Aunt Jessica, I really have to go!"  I throw on some clothes, grab my magic urine baby predictor and run to my bedroom.  My SIL sees me looking odd (and by that, I mean crying and laughing and hyperventilating) and follows me into the bedroom.  "What's up?" she asks.

I shove my pee-pee plastic magic device in her face.  She's got two kids, so she knows what's up, and there's lots of crying (especially on her part) and laughing (on both our parts) and swearing (just on mine).  It was an exhilarating moment.

My husband's reaction was more understated, because The Hubs is the most chill dude in the galaxy.  He smiled, he hugged me, and he said sweet things while I cried lots of happy tears.  And then he said, "Is it okay to joke around now, or is it not the time?"  I told him to go for it, and he informed me that all the alcohol in the house was now his.

Yeah.  Romance.

So that's the story of finding out I had a tiny human growing inside me.  My hormone levels are a bit wacky, so the very fact that we COULD get pregnant without fertility meds was a bit of a surprise to me.  And now I've got The Kid, who sharts and smiles and laughs and brings new meaning to the words exhaustion and elation.

The Kid in utero, approximately 9 weeks