And Are My Arms Tired!

One of the less charming things about The Kid is his refusal to be put down during the day.  This is a fairly new thing for him, and no one seems to really believe it.  People see him with either me or The Hubs, and they're like "wow, he's so well-behaved!"  That's because he's gotten his evil little way.

He doesn't want to sit in his swing, he doesn't want to lay on the floor, he doesn't want to sit in his Bumbo or play with his overpriced jungle-themed play mat.  He wants us to hold him.  And he's specific about his positioning; The Hubs has to do the football carry, and I have to have him as smashed up against my boobs as possible at all times.

Of course, you can't always carry a kid around, no matter what the crazy attachment parents say.  Sometimes, you need to chop veggies or take a crap, so you put the kid down.  9 times out of 10, this results in almost immediate crying, which progresses to frantic, red-faced screaming until he is so pissed that he's making weird cat-noises.

Ashley Wilkerson Photography

And this can all happen within a matter of seconds.

This was the case yesterday.  I was already at the end of my rope when I remembered I needed to run to the post office to pick up mail (because we don't have residential delivery in our town).  I also realized I needed to get a few things at the store, so I loaded up The Kid in the car.  He immediately started wailing, so I tried one of the few tried and true methods of getting him to calm down when he can't be held - I played him some Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, specifically this song:


For some reason, this is his jam.  I love Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, but I have now heard this song a LOT.  The Kid responds okay to some other songs on the album, but "Can't Hold Us" is gold to him (ironically, "Gold" doesn't work so hot).

The song worked for the few minutes it takes to get to the post office.  Once we got in line, however, he freaked again until I started swinging his car seat around.  By the time we got our packages, The Kid was making himself known to everyone within a three block radius.

I tried calming him down so I could take him into the store, but to no avail.  I finally had to carry The Kid in my arms while pushing a cart.  He still didn't like the way I was carrying him (he wanted BOTH ARMS, Mom, GOD ARE YOU STUPID?  BOTH. ARMS.), so he screamed.  That was when The Hubs called.  After hearing The Kid scream, and finding out where we were, he said he'd stop by on the way back from work.  Twenty minutes later, he found me in the checkout line with a crying kid and in a nasty mood.  I handed him the baby and I then cried the whole way home.

So yesterday was bad.  More than anything I wanted a beer, or a gin and tonic, or maybe a horse tranquilizer.  However, I'm on Zoloft for postpartum anxiety, and alcohol just makes me really, really sleepy right now.

So I bought a 12 pack of ginger ale, biotch.

Since I have dual citizenship with Canada, I am contractually obligated to buy this brand.

 Because it's totally the same thing.  :-/